I am not sure what is making me unusually cheery lately. I am usually such the gloomy lump of negativity, lol. Though, I am experiencing my damn flashbacks, since the cheeriness is pushing through. It scares me o_o

The strike is over, so yay food! I can eat now, and gain weight. But now all my classes are dumping oodles of work and readings, which I don't care too much of XD Well, I'm "getting by," you can say >.>

Not much to say, other than I feel old. I feel like I'm falling behind in life. My sister is already going to go college, and the other one will be going to college soon too (in two years). Whereas I haven't even settled on a college or an area of interest. The most of the people that I know, and have gone to elementary, middle, and high school with will be graduating from college in two years approximately. It's going to be a long time before I reach that point in my life, lol. In this day and age, kids are being pushed to choose and achieve as fast as they can. I know, and want to just take my time, but I feel the pressure. I'm sure there are people out there experiencing this too (I hope!). lol, Just I don't know o_o

"You're never fully dressed without a smile" -Annie musical

This is going to be short and whiny.

Rough couple of days; emotionally, mentally, and physically. I'm having whole mess of problems that hit all three areas so fantastically, that I'm such a wonderful wreck. I'm starting to suffer some alarming healthy problems, that may see easy to fix, but are more complicated in my situation. I hope, if I get sent to the hospital, I might be able to go home. Earlier in the year, I was having an emotional breakdown. I begged my family to let me come home. The tuition could of been fully refunded, however, around $1000 for residence was nonrefundable. I was willing to work and pay it off, got to school part time. But they refused, and forced me to stay and stew in my pain. I seriously cannot handle emotional dilemmas. It's not just one of those "suck it up you wuss" kinds of deals. I wish I were home. I can't even go home for winter break, lol.

I wish things would be better. I wish things were fixed. I wish for so many things, but they never seem to come true lol.

Diggin' Roy Orbison, yo.

Wow, I haven't slept in such the longest time. The darkness under my eyes have grown significantly. School is stressful and my personal life is a joke. Yes, this will be a complaining journal entry.

Right now, there is a strike going on. Because of this, most of the food places have been closed, and the custodial services have basically diminished. I'm hungry and we're almost out of toilet paper. There is a place I can to eat, but unfortunately, it's expensive for people on my kind of meal plan. In addition, it is on the other side of campus; thus, I will have to walk to and from alone, at least once in the night. Though there have been a couple good things, for example my new mini-fridge, it seems like the bad is starting to overwrite the effect they have.

I recently receive a letter from Canadian Immigration and Citizenship, and they've rejected my request to renew and restore my study permit. I don't know how to feel, but I know it's more stress on me. I do plan to transfer closer to home next year, but what to do with this year? It's just going to be more money paid into what would be just two month of schooling. You see, I could stay for 6 months without a study permit, granted my program doesn't last that long. Alas, the school year lasts 8 months. What to do? Usually the last month would be cut in half, or even none at all, it all depends when your finals reside. I'm considering duking out the last couple of months.

As I mentioned earlier, I haven't been sleeping. I'm incredibly tired. For the past month or more, I've been barely sleeping. No matter how tired I am, I can't seem to fall asleep. I guess it's because I'm stressed and horribly depressed. You probably can tell how I feel though my poetry; pretty obvious why, lol. It strongly connects with my personal life, and boy is it hitting me hard. I'm sure many of you can relate. The sleep deprivation is lurking into a much darker side. Like my subject says, I've become loopy; or in the process of achieving full loopy-ship. Loopy doesn't have to be a bad thing, but this kind of loopy is indeed bad. This loopy is spawn from pain, starvation, and extreme exhaustion. Evidence? My two poems "The Sky is Blue" and "The Water Cycle." Not really quite my writing, though I did know what I was trying to accomplish.

I hope things get better soon...

Yay! The heaters are finally on, and I no longer have to sleep in a fridge. Speaking of fridges, what luck! A friend decided to give me her mini-fridge for free; she's so generous. This year she's in a dorm that provides a full sized fridge, and she no longer needs this one. I can finally keep food and drinks. I tend to leave meals and beverages unfinished >.>

On another note, I decided to put my Facebook Graffiti on Deviant Art, yay!! It's the only means I have of coloring. Though they are crude, I like them, hehee. I am completely clueless when it comes to color, lol. I do my Graffiti with my laptop's touch pad, lol. Yay for color!!

Oh my, why is it so cold today? My extremties are so cold, my fingers and toes feel halfway numb ! I wish they would turn on the heaters. Unfortunately, the heaters are controlled by the bigwigs of residences. We are at their mercy... Winter is finally here; good thing my university has underground tunnels or else I'd freeze my little toes off. I mostly wear my flip-flops everywhere XD Aside from university, I have a three day weekend, yays for Thanksgiving! However, my people down in America would have a whole week contributed to Thanksgiving; oh the greenness >.<